AngorPress

No, not an actual update.

It’s a ‘I’ve decided I hate this site theme’ post.

But I can’t remember how to change it. Will bug the technological-geniusfriend-slash-generous-webmaster this weekend.

There are times when I think I am not really a writer at all…just a mimic. I have an uncommonly good memory for scraps and shreds of other people’s prose, and occasionally when reading something I’ve written, I find myself thinking ‘that’s not my phrase–that’s someone else’s.’ On the whole, I think I am original, but occasionally I wonder if I am thinking other people’s thoughts.

That’s a roundabout way to explain the title, which probably doesn’t really need the explanation. Many years ago, I read an introduction to an edition of a Jane Austen novel in which the editor, quoting someone else who had referred to a period of Austen’s career when she did not produce novels as ‘her pen lying fallow,’ then exclaimed ‘lying fallow–what a bewitching phrase!’ Or something to that effect. I cannot pretend to remember it word perfect, as I cannot remember the editor, the person he was quoting (if it was a he), or even what Austen novel it was. I only remember that single exclamation. Why? Haven’t a clue, I’m afraid. My brain does odd things.

So, yes, it’s been over a year since I last updated. I have been lying fallow, after making a number of short attempts at starting new novel and generally running out of attention at the second chapter. (Yes. This is Bad.) For a couple of years, writing seemed so easy and so full of possibilities, and now I am suffering from a sort of ennui, in which everything I’ve ever written seems the same and I want to do something different. Not to mention a certain inability to focus which is terribly frustrating.

I will work through it. I hope.

So I just finished the sequel to When The Bough Breaks, tentatively entitled We All Fall Down. I’m rather proud of finishing it, because unlike most of my recent novels which tend to be written in a single stretch, this one was put away twice (once because I was having issues, a second time for Nanowrimo), and I managed to conquer entropy and sprawling storylines. Woot.That said, I don’t know what to think about it yet. I did not intend to write any sequels yet, as it’s essentially a unmarketable book at the moment. I wrote it because certain things in WTBB bothered me and I wanted to explore or wrap them up. I did try to ignore it, but I had to write it. I struggled with it because the storylines were more sprawling and more untidy than the original novel and I kept changing my mind on how things happened. So far I haven’t any opinion on the quality of it. It will get put away and I will read it again in a few months and make up my mind then.

I am tired now and not sure how much sense I am making. However, now I can focus on getting the publisher package for Hollins Hill, and then once that’s out in the wide world, I will work on the second draft for WTBB.

This is, if one counts some work that is unlikely to see the light of day, the sixth novel I have finished, at least in first draft. I’m becoming an expert at rough production. Now if I could only master the other parts of the process…

My Christmas present to myself was, in the early hours of Christmas morning, finishing up the first draft of my Nanowrimo novel, Our Lady of the Foals.

For some reason — I think it had to do with general focus — I had been drifting on it, but manage to resummon the concentration to finish it once at my parents’ for the holidays. In general, I’ve avoided saying too much about this one (except to The Other Jen, who has the perhaps unenviable position of being my writing confidante), and I’m not sure why. I was a little uncertain and found myself thinking of it as ‘odd’ and ‘adult,’ whether it was not. Perhaps it is because unlike my other novels it does not have a clear storyline to resolve, but is based more on an emotional journey.

Our Lady of the Foals is the story of Constance Fossoway, the daughter and only child of a prominent race horse breeder, who is utterly absorbed in her father’s horses. This might seem normal enough, except the year is 1819, and any young lady whose preoccupation is in such unladylike pursuits is looked upon askance. An attempt by her aunt to civilise her goes horribly wrong when she is discovered by all and sundry with a nobleman in her bedchamber (quite by accident!). The father of said nobleman, frustrated by his son’s continued irresponsible behaviour, demands a marriage between them to satisfy honour.

Constance, although unhappy, goes into the marriage clear-eyed and a simple resolution: I will not hate. Her husband, who is of a rather more…artistic temperament, is rather more unwilling and wages a largely passive-aggressive battle against her and his father. More or less exiled to a remote estate on Exmoor, Constance struggles to retain her clear head, attain cordial relations with her husband, and otherwise adjust. And just to top things off, there is a mysterious white mare on the moors who may just be the avatar of the goddess Epona.

At present, I have the conflicted attitude toward the book I normally have when I finish a draft. I can see the flaws clearly — most notably there is a subplot involving Constance’s sister-in-law that sort of blew up messily in my face, and the timeline is a mess due to lack of adequate planning (after writing two books where the action took place over weeks, one where the action had to, for the sake of biological necessity, cover more than a year, was a bit of a shock). However, both of those can be fixed in a second draft, and I find myself pleasantly surprised at how well some parts turned out. As I usually do, I will put it aside for a little while and return to it later to assess it and see if says what I think it says. After writing two novels heavy on the romance, I think of this as my anti-romance novel. Constance realises early on what her husband does not — that she is in a situation where the only reasonable freedom would come with her husband’s death, and another person’s death is a terrible thing to wish for — and thus the best course of action is to try to make the best of what she can. Neither does the novel end with any great avowals of love, but glimmerings of affection and a promise to work together. A couple of characters thoroughout the novel comment on the destructive power of romantic love. It’s not a book about passionate love conquering all — but how with luck and a little work, a solid sort of love can bloom in the most unlikely places.

The beauty of Nanowrimo — you write a book in a month. Then you spend the next ten months editing it.

I finished the second draft of Hollins Hill early this morning. (This gives me a whole month before the next Nanowrimo, should I decide to do it.) The current plan is to get some feedback, perhaps polish up the first three chapters for a publisher’s package, and then embark on the final draft. I cannot say it is by any means perfect now (there are still some weak spots that make me go ‘hrrrrm’ and frownyface), but I believe the second draft is a substantial improvement on the first.

Changes — not as many as I thought. Most of them were to the beginning or end; the middle is almost disturbingly untouched. The biggest change is the fact the book went from being a smidge under 80,000 words and eighteen chapters to almost-but-not-quite 100,000 words and twenty chapters. In general, that was more expansion than addition. Neither of the two new chapters are wholly new, but occurred when previously existing material was expanded on, resulting in chapters being split. A few new scenes have been added, mostly Louie scenes. In nearly everything of length I write, there is always at least one character who surprises me by becoming more important than previously intended, and Louie was the one for Hollins Hill. I believe there is a new Sophy and a new Charley scene as well. (There is a new Roger part as well, but I cannot remember whether it is an entirely new scene, or just a substantial addition to an existing one.) There were no big plotline changes, but some inconsistencies were ironed over and a few new background details were tossed in — mostly in case I decide to use them in a sequel.

Insights — I always think of Hollins Hill as a light, fluffy book for some reason. Perhaps that is because I wrote it so close together with When The Bough Breaks, which is downright grim, or perhaps parts of it are bantering and a bit tongue in cheek. However, on editing, I realized I was doing it a disservice; it is weighter than I thought, and even dark in parts. A great deal of the book consists of people struggling with moral dilemmas and, for the most part, doing it badly. It deals with the nature of familial and romantic love, marriage (from the early 19th century perspective), and self-sacrifice. The book deals a great deal with growing up, but one of the ironies is that although the other central characters do mature, it’s debatable whether Roger (arguably the central character) does or not. I also found, to my eyes, an air of doom hanging over even the happy parts of the bittersweet ending. (Are they really doomed or not? I’m the only one who knows, and I’m not telling.)

Regrets — I have the same prevailing regret regarding the book I had the first time, in regards to Maria. I don’t want her to be a two-dimensional harpy; she has her own story and legitimate grievances, but there simply isn’t space (or a tidy way to work her story in) in a book that’s largely about the Hackhams. I did alter a scene to try to make her more sympathetic, at Roger’s expense, but I’m sure whether it works or not. I also regret there isn’t space to flesh out the characters of the other sisters. It would probably confuse my readers even more than they are already to delve into the lives of Emmy or Belle, but I’d love to do it.

Finished the first draft of When The Bough Breaks last night just before midnight. For some reason I did not have the sense of elation I normally do when finishing a first draft. I think it was largely because usually I have a last sentence in mind and have been writing up to it for some time. This time I didn’t, and I’m not happy with the very last chapter at all. Still, it’s easily fixable, and I deserve some chocolate. Two in six!

Next is my Clarion application. Then some Firan chargen. And then serious editing on Hollins Hill.

And maybe I can return to the real world for a bit.

I have declared a goal to finish two novels (we’re talking rough, rough drafts here) in six months. (Knowing me, editing them will then take three years.) One, my Nanowrimo novel, is already done. That gives me until the end of April to finish the second, by my calculations.

My friends have been glowering at me for my productivity, but, really, it’s renewed productivity after three or so years of being too burnt out to write. I’m enjoying writing again, and that’s a good thing.

I like to describe my Nanowrimo novel, Hollins Hill, as what Jane Austen might have written if she had been dropped on her head (repeatedly) as a small child and also came to recognize ghosts and sex. However, that might still be giving myself too much credit. It is, broadly speaking, a ‘historical paranormal romance.’ Set in 1802, in an estate called (surprise!) Hollins Hill, in the north of England, it is about the estate’s residents, the Hackham family. In his push to have a son, Sir George Hackham managed to sire fourteen daughters (by four different wives). Luckily for the readers (and the writer), only the eldest five are really characters in their own right. In the remoteness of Hollins Hill, an estate where the house is haunted benevolently by a spirit known affectionately as Dorothy, the wood is haunted rather more malevolently by nameless spirits, and the ruins of an ancient abbey on the estate may or may not contain a magical relic with the power of healing. But when a young (and rather married) poet arrives in search of said relic and falls hopelessly in love with one of the sisters, he brings the outside world crashing in on Hollins Hill with all sorts of complications and tragedies ensuing.

I’m still not sure if Hollins Hill is any good. I printed it off recently to have a hard copy to edit, and reread snippets of it, which were better than I remembered but also often read rather more frivolously than I intended. I also know sections of it have some major structural issues that will take a while to fix. That said, I do know it was an absolute blast to write. It helped me recover my love of writing, which had wandered off somewhere in the last few years and gotten lost. I was also astonished by the fact that although I have always found male character more difficult to write (and to RP, for that matter), the voice of Roger — the irresponsible, impulsive, scattered and occasionally lecherous aforementioned poet — came so naturally to me it was almost disturbing.

After I finished the first draft of Hollins Hill, in early December, I spent some time playing around with a proposed sequel for it, New World. The characters were still so alive in my head I wanted to continue their story. However, I put it away for a bit because it wasn’t yet clear enough to me. Writing Hollins Hill in a ‘I’ll write and see what happens’ approach worked, because I had to tie all storylines into the location. New World, given the Hackham girls were expelled from Hollins Hill and were now all over the place, was going to be an absolute mess if I tackled it that way. So now it’s percolating at the back of my mind, waiting to be revisited when I have a better idea of how to structure it.

In late January, desperately in need of an ongoing project to hold my own in the Word Challenge, I started a novel tentatively entitled When The Bough Breaks. It was almost deserted in the early days, especially after I initially wrote the first chapter in third person, and then went back and re-wrote it in first. (First person won out). Now, however, I’m past the halfway mark and cannot see myself not finishing it.

WTBB is both a little more fantasy-oriented and a little more character-oriented than Hollins Hill. It has more a firm foot in the supernatural (in this case, faeries), and because it’s intended to be about the same length as Hollins Hill, but with far fewer characters, the characters are more rounded. In theory. If Hollins Hill is a really mangled re-imagining of Pride & Prejudice, WTBB is what happens when you do a similar hack-job to Jane Eyre. It is about Dora, a young woman who has lived a sheltered and reclusive life, but when her father dies, is forced to go out into the world as a governess, traveling to Scotland to teach a baron’s younger sister. However, she discovers her pupil has a tail, which is only the first sign of weirdness. The gate to Faerie, she learns, was shut and it can be unlocked only by the death of the young girl she teaches. Everyone in the household seems to have a different agenda and, alone and confused, she has no idea who to trust or how to save her pupil.

WTBB is set in a later era (1869) than Hollins Hill, but the two books are actually connected, albeit in a way that is so far only in my head. I suppose, thematically, they have similarities as well. They are both about growing up, leaving your safe place behind, and learning to deal with life. They play with the tension between what is real and practical, and what is intangible and ideal. To an extent, too, they’re both about family, but in different ways. The Hackham girls, even as they’re expelled from their family home, will always have each other, and thus will probably turn out fine. Even though they might disagree with each other’s actions, they will always be there to catch one who falls. Dora, however, is completely alone and lost in an uncertain world, brushing up against others in the same situation, who don’t know whether to shun strangers or grab hold of them. She reflects, early on, if she disappeared, no one would miss her. As at least three characters have asked in that book so far, when asked why they remain in this situation, “Where else would I go?”

That is, I suppose, why I keep thinking of WTBB as a very dark book, and Hollins Hill more as a comedy-drama.

The current projects page has been updated to reflect what I’m currently working on.

Enjoy.

Or cringe. Whatever puts marzipan in your pie pan.

It’s February (egad! Where does time go?) and here’s my latest creative update. Well. Update on the state of my creativity. Not necessarily an update that is creative in and of itself.

So…

*pokes brain experimentally*

I think my creativity is green. And squishy.

Anyway. After a short break, things are ongoing again. I still have not added a page for Hollins Hill, but intend to in the near future. At the moment I’m letting it be — I want to edit it when there’s more distance between the writing and the editing. I am, however, almost to that point. Although no one yet has the rough draft all the way through (yes, Jen and Rachel, I am death-glaring at you), initial reviews for the three people who have started reading it are pleasingly positive. I had a ball writing it.

That said, I did start on a sequel to it, and got about three chapters in before I put it aside for a bit. It’s going to be a bigger book than the original, and needs some work setting up a framework to hang the story on. Instead, in the last two weeks I got bowled over by an idea for a Victorian dark fantasy, and am now more than 25k words in. It’s not coming as smoothly as Hollins Hill did, but I really love the concept, and we’ll see how it goes. If I can write two complete (if very rough) novels in less than six months, I’m going to…I don’t know. Eat a mountain of chocolate to celebrate or something.

Also, this year I am planning to apply to Clarion West. If I can manage to write a bio that isn’t incredibly flippant and/or claim that I am a tuber or marsupial.

As a concluding note, if there is anyone out there who wants to read the (very rough) first draft of Hollins Hill, has an account on GoogleDocs, and can give constructive big picture criticism (and isn’t planning to steal my book or anything), feel free to drop me a line. I’m looking for feedback, since my BEST FRIENDS are too busy to finish reading it. (Hint, hint.)

Rachel has created a new blog for creative-stuff, Through My Eyes. And poor misguided soul has given me a login. Oh, the damage I can do…